Absurdity

So Ryder is really not sleeping on any kind of schedule anymore. Last night he was up till 5am despite multiple attempts to get him to sleep. I was unable to sleep either because if I lock him out he just bangs on the door, and if I try to sleep in the room with him he tries to push and pull me out. Tried laying with him, locking him in his room, walking him, etc. simply wasn't ready.

We then ended up playing a bit. I feel bad because I'm always so tired now I don't want to play as much, and I regret just not playing with him in the beginning and wasting hours of my time with him trying to get him to sleep and crying and not having fun when we could have just played. Read books to him, but that didn't call him down. I feel like giving up and just playing when he wants to play, always feel like waste so much time on unnecessary struggles.