Absurdity

This is something I've been giving more and more thought. As it is now life is pretty good, lots of time with my kids, some time to myself, I enjoy my job, family is happy. However soon my eldest will start school and things will go bad. My job requires me to work evenings/nights, usually 2-10 or 4-12. When he starts school I will go from 60+ hours a week with him to 16, if that.

On weekdays he will be gone before I wake up half the time, and by the time he gets home I will be on my way to or at work. By the time I get home he should be asleep (which is what I think is half the reason for the sleep issues now, he won't sleep until I'm home). On weekends if I'm not working I get the day with him, if I do work I'll have a few hours in the morning. And I don't want 1 day a week. I know I still have a few years before it's a concern, and I think I've started thinking about this a year ago when he had his 2nd birthday.

I've been looking at day time jobs, becoming a food rep or something, get an office job, something during the day, live the 9-5 life, so I get evenings with him every day and I won't be going 5 days without seeing him awake. So far there hasn't been anything I really want to go for that doesn't require me to go back to school, and with us the way we are that is pretty much impossible. This was something they warned us about, you'll never see your families, you'll do long shifts all day, never quite sunk in. I always thought, well I work nights, I'll see him during the day, but I never thought it through enough to see what happens when he starts school.

So I've thought about starting a home daycare. I've done the math, and with the money I would make off two children, minus the money we save by not having to put ours in daycare, gas to and from work everyday, various other small expenses, I would actually almost break even on a monthly basis, if only being $100 under or so what I was making before. If I can manage to take a third child on a part time basis I will actually be making more money after expenses than I was before as a Chef. It is still a passing thought, I'm not sure I'm ready for this big change, and I do love cooking, I'd hate to give up the kitchen, that's the only time I'm warm. I live for the line, the rush. I can still go another year before he starts pre-school, even that is only half days for a bit. I love the time with my child as well though, and I'm sure as my youngest gets older I will want more time with him too.