Absurdity

You know Angry Birds 2 is the first game I really played daily. It's a different kind of playing, I think kind of exclusive to mobile games. It is kind of draining in a way, it's nice to take something serious and watch grow, but the payoff slowly fades. Other games I would always play when I want, as I want, off and on, usually few games at a time, casually I guess, have dozens of games, switch them up, go back and forth, no big deal. I think that's kind of how I played angry birds 2 before clans as well. I had my map goal, but I played for myself, not others.

Even Runescape, I'd play daily, but it wasn't like I felt I had to play daily, I just was always working on a task or goal. Now playing for others and having it feels like an obligation to the clan. I'm a helper, love to help and can't turn it down, but I think I am going to try to stop the daily playing and play more as I want. Take a few days off, come back do a battle, in and out. Enjoy the map. I started playing merge dragons, so fun just organizing my home camp. Miss my home in Runescape, but that's a member only feature.

Amelia picked something off the floor, I say that's garbage, give to me I'll throw out "no I'll do it". Always so independent and helpful, loves doing it all on her own, so much pride. Even always getting things for her sister. Watched Frozen today, nice cuddling they were entranced by it, love the songs. Sometimes winning is simply not hiding in the basement or the bedroom, 1 day at a time, 1 moment at a time. It was nice to have that moment with them, even when I just am screaming myself to go and hide and not exist and go numb, it's good to fight that and to be.