Absurdity

Parents admin chat and group was like the best thing ever has on Facebook. Felt like had real friends there, blurred the lines of online and real life. It was great, shared everything, kids, pets, we knew each other, parenting or not. Fish tanks, questions, life tips. Then it was gone and it'll never be back like it was. For years it was my escape, so active in the group and chat, talk about feelings, ideas, anything. That took time to build, and I was a lot less crazy. Now I can't go back to that, I won't take the time to let something build up again. It either just has to be or isn't. I'm so scattered across Facebook now, sort of active here or there, no one really knows me, friendless again. Will never get that back, that magic that the chat and everything had, that place to just be and safe. And now just need things to work, that team will never exist again, the past is burned and the future is lost so why fucking bother with anything. Just do whatever, what will be will be. Facebook is just a distraction now, so I don't think because thoughts are dangerous, it isn't a safe place, just things to do to keep my mind busy. Gotta stay busy, can't stop anymore. Don't read anymore, don't do anything anymore but keep myself distracted from myself. That's the way it'll be until the end. There's no point to anything, we die then it's the end, and we'll all die soon enough.

I don't talk to anyone really anymore, not like in the admin chat. Used to share everything, now a little here and little there, but no one gets to know all of me anymore, nothing real anymore. Like I talk and chat, sometimes to some people, but I don't share, not really. Don't touch parents group anymore, not like before. Don't try to engage or interact. Don't try to steer or guide posts. Just do the lip service.

So rules don't really matter that much, just a small part of this temporary short existence. I want the old internet back where things don't matter, just join groups and troll, and have fun do whatever the fuck you want. Get account banned make a new one, used to go through so many accounts and just not care. Now social justice warriors always try to force things online into reality, tell work, tell spouses, whatever. Killed reddit, can't make so many jokes there anymore, Facebook is lame with their nudity rules and everything. Tumblr killed all the fun. 90s will never come back, early 2000s where can just go online and enjoy yourself, now everyone watching your every step, someone always out to rat someone, tell someone on you.

For the ninja group Like even now not giving a chance to know me, already shut up about myself, barely talk or share anything. Don't read most things, just skim, reply to last comments. Didn't even want to set up this group, just felt my hand was forced by all those people using that God damn stupid fucking logical fallacy of "well why complain and not do anything about it", same idiots who when you try to talk about homeless people say "why not put them up on your house then". Because we are a society that helps each other. Because me advocating for hello for all means us coming together as a city, resources, not making irrational decisions about my home. Not asking anyone to take them in just help. I just loved the idea of the group and wanted to take part while I had no work or anything. But now I made it and responsible for more rules to enforce, more shit, more things to manage which I can't abandon. Got to try to make the best.