What To Do With Hands/Pockets: 2024-09-28
Some advice to my children on what to do with their hands while talking. Just what I've picked up from decades of experience. Firstly don't move them so much, keep it still, but not so still you are a robot. You shouldn't fidget or constantly move them, but some natural looking movements time to time is expected. Not the best time to be cracking fingers or moving them every second, like once every few minutes is fine, more to reposition than to fidget. You can talk with your hands a bit, but make sure it matches the words you are saying and the tone of the conversation. Don't wave them around or be excited in a sombre conversation, but at the same time don't be timid with exciting news.
In regards to pockets, never fully put your hands in your pockets, 1 or 2. If you feel you need something for your hands to do your pockets are an easy way to keep them occupied. You will want to do a four finger hook with the thumb in the pocket or a thumb hook with your thumb just sticking out. Putting your hands fully in can look weird or off. This is in regards to jeans or jackets, and weather dependant. If it's cold you have more of an excuse to hide your hands. Once pocketed your hands should remain more stable, while it was okay to shift previously every few minutes, a pocket is like a home, so when thumb hooked you don't want to go back and forth for example or move it in and out of the pocket, once there it's okay to remain there for 5-10 minutes at least. While moving from a thumb to finger hook is more minimal it should still not be done constantly.
Look at their body language as well and remember you want to appear confident, but in relation to them. If they are very timid you don't want to over force them with too much loudness or directness, you want to appear confident, but at near their level or slightly above.
Crossed hands feel very comfortable and keep your hands from wandering too much, but can look less open and willing to engage. It's okay if the discussion is more serious or talking about a problem or issue, but for a friendly conversation tend to avoid.
