Absurdity

I really would like some kind of side job, something to do, a hobby, a business whatever. Wish I could do catering on the side, as cooking is only thing I really know. Love to work with video games, tech support or level design, my life is a wash. Want my own restaurant but no money, would like some money to play around with stocks maybe but don't have that either. Need money to make more money. Not much work going on and I hate doing 2 jobs, all the anxiety and scheduling and wanting to give it my all to 2 places. Sell art, some stupid MLM, something. Write stories, I don't care, something of myself when I have nothing.

Feels like there is nothing to do, I'll spend more time surfing Netflix than watching anything. I don't end up watching anything on my own besides clips on YouTube, Same with video games, look at all the games to play, but don't play any for fun, most I feel I keep playing now like Disney Heroes more out of habit, do my dailies. Runescape might be fun to get back into, but can't seem to manage to get into that either. Just let 1 day wash over me after another, would just lay down in bed forever if I could, never get up again. Never read any books anymore, never do anything. Whole world feels so pointless. So many deluded into thinking there is a God still, ruining our world, we follow terrible leaders who take away public services, I hate being in this province, wish could travel freely. Lot of my fantasies in my head are about end of the world, last human alive, get to just wander, do whatever. What do I want to do? Nothing and everything. Want to be done.