Journal #65: 2005-12-18
I am going to try to keep a running journal once again, I hope this time I keep it up for longer. I had a dream last night, Mom was sleeping in another bed in my room and there was someone else there, and he wanted to kill Mom and I. I remember thinking this man was from the past, that he was angry at us for something that happened in the past. He sort of reminded me of Freddy, I went after him with scissors and he had a sword, I was very afraid of him and stayed back, back he cut both of my index fingers with the sword when I lunged at him, realizing either way I was going to die. Then I woke up and was so sure my fingers were still going to be hurting. Dana and I are going out again, no idea what I'm getting her for X-mas, but I need to find out soon. I don't care what other people think anymore, I love her. It's nice writing in a journal again, it's nice to get my thoughts down. I just wish I could just figure out how to get into my previous entries, stupid password protection, can't get past that damn password. Kiley was supposed to call today but she never did. I'm playing Runescape a lot now, I become more powerful in the game everyday. I am kind of mad because I lent someone 100k in the game and now he is saying he does not know me, this happened to me before but with 20k, I just can't be generous with my money anymore, in the real and virtual world. That lump in my right breast is still there, I finally told someone about it since it does seem to be hurting more nowadays. I told my brother that it's there and he said if it has been there for that long then maybe I should tell a doctor. I just feel happy that someone else knows about it now, I don’t think I can ever go to the doctor's office about it, just not the kind of person I am.