Absurdity

I finally finished typing out the journal today. I finally asked Robyn out about a week ago, she said no, then called me and said yes, then came over and said she loved me like a brother. The one thing that I regretted was that I asked her drunk, I shouldn't have had to get drunk. So after we went to the Aaron Pritchett concert together I asked her, sober, she of course said no but I had to do it for me. But yesterday at work I was trying to talk to her and she was all like "stay away" "don’t talk to me" and looked kind of angry. I hope she isn't angry by Friday because she is supposed to help me pick out Mom's B-day gift. Also I heard she had started smoking yesterday, which is so stupid. She is the one person who really doesn't need to smoke, I hope she was just joking around and is not really smoking. I'm happy knowing that I can be her friend though we have one great friendship. I need to find a girl though, don't know where or how but I want to find one, someone who is willing to be with me, who likes me for me, someone I can spend endless hours talking to, ahh I'm just a dreamer.