Absurdity

Feeling fairly angry today, and as of late. I'm angry that I keep getting called into work. I lose out on so much time with Ryder. I'm angry at the dogs for destroying so much. This morning I found his cowboy boots chewed on. The same ones I've had since I was a child. Just all of the toys and everything they chew on. I'm angry the PS3 has issues because Ryder keeps playing with it. I've changed, I'm a lot more materialistic, and maybe that's making me unhappy. I used to just enjoy moments but now I enjoy things. I enjoy what they represent. I want everything to last. I really don't think I'm a dog person anymore, hell I would get angry at the cats for everything they broke. I still miss my wolf head.

I'm angry at my job. I don't want to work so much anymore. Maybe twenty hours a week. I want to stay home more. I want to be a writer, I want to work on that. I want to find a way to make money writing. Maybe not full blown novels, but scripts and stories, anything really. I want to practise my writing more, learn to edit and improve my works. Maybe don't put everything up for free on my website, maybe make something worth selling. I would take classes but I can't stand school, maybe that's something I need to change, learn how not just to be a student but an academic student. Everyone always say what I write is good, it just needs to be fine tuned. I hate editing my works though, I want to preserve every version.

I did try something new last week though; I tried my hand at acting. I don't think I was very good but everyone said I did a good job. It didn't work out exactly how it should. Lot of issues, but it was a great learning experience. The lead actress had to work the day of filming, so we ended up filming a movie about the issues of filming the original short. He has asked me to come back when we try to film the original short again and I'm excited for that. Perhaps this will lend itself to me improving my writing.

My old phone died. I think I was letting Ryder play with it too much. Or just normal wear and tear. It seemed to me the power button got stuck and it would just keep turning itself off. Love my new phone, I got a nexus 4. It can really multi task, lots of great features, and I can write on it a lot easier now. I'm going to try to spend my bus rides writing a lot more. I think with my old phone I sort of got into smart phones, but it was really like my old flip phone but with a touch screen. This is now truly a smartphone and there's so much it can do and so easily.