Absurdity

Male here, agree completely, lot of women I talked to wanted maybe 1 child at most, but a lot of my high school friends are perfectly happy being childless, which is awesome. They seem happy and fulfilled to me, and are enjoying life on their terms.

For me I do think having children was a bit selfish, not so much a legacy, but I wanted to give them a chance to have a better childhood then I did, kind of wanted to prove that it could be done, that I could raise children who aren't completely messed up if they had love and support along the way. I took parental leave, I spend time with them, I let them choose the shows they watch half the time (I try to get them to watch some old school stuff too, right now we are doing Sailor Moon, Dic Dub). I ran a home daycare for 5 years when they were younger.

Would I do it again now? Maybe not, I'm better mentally, I don't have to "prove" anything anymore, I just wanted them to see what life with a dad could have been like. Now I feel the world is too bleak to be bringing in children, and I don't need a legacy. Before it was "If I pour ALL my love into this one thing maybe I will feel validated", but now it's more like I realize I should have had them for them, to have their own life, not me wanting to prove myself as a father.