Absurdity

I remember a bit more of my nightmare that time I was on mushrooms. I remember I was talking to God(s), can't remember if there was one or two. I think there were a few creatures in charge, in was some kind of machine that seemed to represent me or my life or my passage through life. I know I was in a lot of pain going through the machine. They asked me a question that I had to answer. I knew it was a trick question though, you know how in dreams you sometimes know things you shouldn't know, that is how I felt knowing it was a trick question. They asked "Is there an afterlife?" If I got the answer right I could continue to exist, if I got it wrong I would vanish.

There are two possible answers, yes or no, with four possible outcomes, I could answer yes and be right or wrong, or answer no and be right or wrong. I thought about it and wanted to play it safe so I said yes. I knew if I got it wrong I wouldn't get an afterlife, my existence would end. If I answered no and was wrong I would cease to be, as well if I answered no and was right there would be no afterlife. If I answered yes and got it wrong still no me, but if I answered yes and was right I would go on. So yes seemed like the only choice.

I felt that everyone going into it always got it wrong, it was a trick question designed to keep people out. So even though I wanted to say yes, I thought it was too obvious and wanted to say no. Still I decided to play it safe and play yes, after a lot of back and forth. I figured logically it was the best and only option available to me.

They then informed me that I got it wrong, there is no afterlife, because everyone always chooses yes, no matter what everyone always chooses the same answer. That is why there is no afterlife, if someone ever chose no they would be right and they would be rewarded with an afterlife. But since everyone says yes there is no afterlife because no one gets to exist after being asked the question. That was the paradox of the question, the trap and the trick.

They started to work the machine, and push me and twist me through. I think I was on a platform and they pushed me down like a slide. I remember feeling this is the worst pain ever, and why do I have to endure all this pain just before I cease to be. It seemed to endure forever, or at least seem to me to endure forever, time lost meaning. Eventually I woke up at the hospital, after the worst nightmare in my life. They say you can't really feel pain in a dream, but I still think I felt something, and it wasn't just in my body, it was me, and it hurt and it lasted beyond time.